The Village Cricketer

Something strange is happening in Australia. Following on from the un-Australian drubbing at the hands of the Indian’s (let’s face it, even we gave them a stiffer contest), the Canary Yellows have capitulated to a series defeat at the hands of South Africa and are staring down the barrel of being white-washed in their own back yards.

Granted, the Saffas have been very good, and have turned two situations that they would have certainly lost two years ago into victories. How were they able to do that though? How can any Autralian side – even without Warne and McGrath – concede 400+ runs in the last innings of a test at the WACCA? Since when have debutants been allowed to play the kind of nerveless innings JP Duminey did to help steer his side home, and then the kind of sensational innings JP Duminey did to set up the Melbourne win? Since when have the Aussies allowed tail-enders to build substantial innings of the sort Dale Steyn did?

We all knew the Canary Yellows would suffer once their big guns had gone, but no-one could have suggested they’d decline so rapidly. Without his bankers, Ponting’s captaincy looks ponderous and ineffective, and his bowlers have been unable to drive home crucial adantages they have created. Add to that the fact that Punter would kill to have a spinner even as good as Paul Harris in his side, not to mention the problems at the top of the order, and you have a side in serious decline.

The 2005 Ashes were contested by the first and second best test sides in the world. It is entirely likely that the 2009 Ashes will be contested by third and fourth.

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An appeal from The Village Cricketer: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Aussie Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

Urrr, umm, yes, hmm, oh dear, bother. Read about it somewhere else:

Cricinfo: Tendulkar century sets up famous win
The Independent: Tendulkar hails special performance
Telegraph: Sachin Tendulkar steers India to famous win over England
Times Online: India defeat will be psychologically damaging for England, says Mike Atherton

Monty looked short of he best and the use of technology would have seen off Gambhir and Youvraj. KP says no excuses, so bugger! We should have won this one.

What a day. Seemingly underachieved with the bat this morning, but England’s bowlers, inspired by the debutant Graeme Swann – who took two big wickets the last over before lunch, his first in test cricket, have fought back magnificently. This is shaping up to be a magnificent contest. There is a lot of cricket to be played, but England are ahead. If they can roll over the Indian’s early tomorrow England will have a crucial first innings lead, and the opportunity to set India a daunting run chase in the last day and a half. This is cricket at its best.

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An appeal from The Village Cricketer: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Aussie Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

Arrgggghhh, how very Australian. England grafted and ground, and Andrew Strauss was marvellous in compiling an excellent ton, but failures from pretty much England’s entire middle-order, means that the good foundations he and Alistair Cook built in the first session and beyond could yet be wasted. The pitch is good and will become increasingly spin friendly. England need to stop the rot and build another 150 – 200 runs tomorrow to put the pressue on India. This was the toss we hoped for, but Flintoff and Prior need to dig in and build a commanding first innings total.

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An appeal from The Village Cricketer: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

Mike Atherton couldn’t fathom Chris Lewis (it says so here). In addition, Patrick Kidd has been “pratling” on about the recently arrested former England player. If Chris Lewis gets sent down, it could be that he becomes known as the English version of OJ. Oh, except that Chris Lewis didn’t kill his wife, oh yes, sorry, and neither did OJ.

Ian Bell, famously coined ‘the Sherminator’ by Shane Warne during the 2006/7 Ashes series (after the ginger haired geek in the American Pie film Trilogy), approaches the beginning of 12 months that could make or break his reputation as a Test cricketer, writes Paul McDonald, exclusively for The Village Cricketer).

"I've been called worse" Chuck Sherman (left) and Ian Bell (right)

I’ve always been a fan of Bell. He is technically correct, compact and equally adept off both the front and back foot. During his maiden test innings (an impressive 70 against the West Indies in 2004) he reminded me of Michael Atherton (albeit with more of a desire to play shots). Aside from a brief period on the sidelines in early 2006, he has been a near permanent fixture in the England Test side since the glorious Ashes summer of 2005 (filling his boots with 227 unbeaten runs in two tests against woeful Bangladesh certainly did his average no harm).

Bell averages 42, has 8 centuries in 43 tests (not far off Boycott’s oft-quoted 1 in 5 conversion requirement), so what’s the problem? Well, quite frankly, I expect more.

A batting average of over 40 no longer cuts the mustard, it is simply not enough. The last decade has brought with it substantial improvements in bat technology and pitch preparation. England are touring the sub-continent with increasing regularity where, new ball negotiation aside, batters are able to build centuries at will (TVC has already said that England are ‘better able and better inclined to build the slow, steady centuries required’ – I wholeheartedly agree).

Once described as ‘the best 16-year old I have ever seen’ by Dayle Hadlee (Brother to Sir Richard and respected coach), Bell has hardly set the test world alight. Having done just about enough to justify batting first wicket down for the upcoming series, I wonder how long it will be before media pressure pushes Kevin Pietersen up to number three?

There are positives I can draw upon. Bell’s series tally against Pakistan in 2005/6, 313 runs at 52 is an achievement not to be sniffed at. He also scored three centuries in three tests, again against the Pakistanis (in 2006). Recently, his 199 against the Saffers at Lords suggested Bell had finally come of age.

Alas, this was a thought that proved misplaced. Consolation dead rubber victory aside, England were soundly beaten by an impressive outfit and Bell contributed just 133 runs at 22 during the rest of the series (on another note, I too am very much looking forward to the upcoming Australia versus South Africa confrontations. Finally, in 20 innings, Bell has yet to make a century against the Aussies – hardly a record befitting a world class number three.

So what’s required over the next 12 months?

I want to see more of a combative attitude from Bell. Who can forget Owais Shah’s test debut, batting at number three, sledging the Indian Bowlers during his 88 at Mumbai in 2006 (I always enjoy seeing Harbhajan and Sreesanth getting smashed around)?. A Test number three should be dictating the pace of the game in all conditions and Bell needs to step up. At 26 years of age, the next 5 years could be a golden period. I want to see him averaging over 50 against India and the West Indies (both home and away), I want to see him compiling significant scores where the pitches are friendly (India) and when the bowling attacks lack quality and experience (the Windies). Bell should be approaching the 2009 Ashes at the peak of his powers, ready to demolish the Aussies without fearing the now retired McGrath/Warne combination. Let’s hope the Sherminator can deliver.

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An appeal from The Village Cricketer: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

The former England cricketer Chris Lewis has been charged with attempted drug smuggling after the seizure of four kilos of cocaine at Gatwick airport, the UK Border Agency said today. The drugs had an estimated street value of £200,000.

Lewis, 40, an all-rounder who played 32 test matches and 53 one-day internationals for England in the 1990s, was arrested on Monday after arriving on a flight from the Caribbean,

The drugs were found hidden inside tins of fruit.

Sponsor’s message: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

Now we are talking! After an autumn of mismatches it finally looks as though there will be some enthralling cricketing contests coming up.

England are on the way to India with a pretty much full strength side. Reasons to be cheerful following the ODI results? Yes, absolutely. Despite what happened against the Saffas this summer, England are far better at test cricket than ODIs. The batsmen are better able and better inclined to build the slow, steady centuries that are required in tests, rather than the flamboyant, rapid ones required for ODI cricket. In addition, England’s bowling attack has more variety than the one the Canary Yellows took to India. India are favourites to win, especially given that England will be woefully underprepared, however Monty Panesar is a proper spinner and the key to England coming away from India with a drawn series, or even a sneaky win should a crucial toss go in Kevin Pietersen’s favour.

Meanwhile, there is the mouth-watering prospect of a confident South Africa versus a ponderous Australia in the land of Oz. Ricky Ponting is saying that Australia are still the best wide in the world, and would remain so even it the South Africans sneak a series win. I think the Aussie batting line up edges the Saffa’s, however given that the best spinner on either side is Paul Harris, I think we can be confident in saying that this will be a series that will be won by the best pace attack. Graeme Smith is talking up Dale Steyn, but it could be Morne Morkel that really unsettles the Canary Yellow batters when they meet for the first test in Perth. This series is too close to call.

Sponsor’s message: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!

So there were a couple of very positive comments on the Mahela Jayawardene / Nien Nunb post, which – being a slow day – got me thinking. If George Lucas were to remake Star Wars with famous personalities from the world of cricket making up the cast, who would play whom?!

Here are a few suggestions:

richie benaud, the yoda of world cricket

Yoda – Jedi master who trained Luke Skywalker – has to be Richie Benaud. Looks similar in stature on the TV, a bit wrinkly, a wise and most honourable sage. Like Yoda, you always get the impression Richie must have been an absolute master in his younger days.

Jar Jar Binks – Hapless but good-natured Gungan – Monty Panesar

C-3PO – Protocol droid – A bit dull, somewhat annoying, useful at times, but more likely to run away than any other character, this part goes to Steve Harmison.

Chewbacca – Han Solo’s Wookie partner and co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon – Merv Hughes is the only one hairy enough for this role.

Obi-Wan Kenobi – Jedi Master who trains Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker – Geoff Boycott of course! “Eee’ll learn patience”.

Princess Leia Organa – Luke Skywalker’s sister and leader in the Rebel Alliance – This part goes to Alistair Cook, because his hair is the right colour and of all the cricketers in the international game, he looks most like Carrie Fisher.

R2-D2 – Small, dome topped droid that hangs about with C-3PO – For this part, we needed a short, fat, bald cricketer. Darren Lehmann sprung to mind.

Luke Skywalker – Jedi whose coming of age and rise as a Jedi are portrayed in the original Star Wars trilogy – this part goes to Ian Bell, maybe he too will become a world beater once he can learn control.

Han Solo – A rogue, a scoundrel and Captain of the Millennium Falcon – Kevin Pietersen gets this part due to being Captain of England.

Darth Vader – The alter-ego of Anakin Skywalker after his fall to the dark side – Tough one this. Need someone that is big, black and a bit scarey, but also who must have a secret good side. Highly unlikely that he would be Ian Bell’s father, but Curtly Ambrose gets this role.

A full list of StarWars characters is available here. Feel free to suggest your own.

Sponsor’s message: In June 2009, The Village Cricketer’s English All Stars will play the Cricket with Balls Code of Conduct XI in a charity cricket match to raise runds for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So, if you enjoy this post, please support the cause by donating £2 or anything you can spare via our Justgiving page. 1 in 3 of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, please show your support!