Twenty20


I’ve been an England cricket fan as long as I can remember. I’ve always wanted and expected wins, and became obsessive about following England’s progress since the South African’s toured here in 1994.

I’ve seen some highs and many lows. I’ve coped with Neil Smith puking on the pitch and the Sri Lankan pinch-hitters humiliating us in the 1996 World Cup. I’ve coped with us failing to bowl out the Windies as the umpires refused to give any LBWs in the first (or was it second) match of the tour of the Caribbean in 1998, as well as the collapse that preempted Atherton’s resignation in the last match. I’ve coped with us losing to the Kiwis in 1999, further piss poor World Cups in 1999, 2003 and 2007 and failing to chase down the Zimbos score in Harare in 1996/7. I’ve even coped with the batting collapse that led to Australia winning the Adelaide test in 2006.

Even throughout all of this humiliation, I remained confident that we’d beat the minnows. The closest we have come in recent years to losing to a non-test playing nation was when an 18-year-old Baz Zuiderant slapped our boys around the sub-continent in the 1996 World Cup.

Now, we were – supposedly – piss poor in those days. These days we have quality players and momentum, with ODI, T20 and Test success in recent months, and consider ourselves to be a decent side. Tonight we lost to Holland + Dirty Dirk. Dirty Dirk, to be fair, didn’t even do that much. It was the repo man, the restaurateur and the insurance broker that did the damage. Its the equivalent of Matlock Town beating Manchester Utd in the 3rd round of the FA Cup.

Its a mighty f*ck up and deeply embarrassing. We – the highly paid pros – bottled it on numerous occasions and let the village cricketing ICC associate nation of Holland humiliate us. Oh deary deary me.

Orange order embarrass English pros

Orange order embarrass English pros

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Yesh, we a beating zee England at zee cricket…

Am getting a little concerned. Holland are well on the way to beating England in the first match of the ICC Twenty20 competition. It is raining now and they are ahead of the D/L.

In the meantime, here is a video of gorillas playing cricket…

Interestingly, what with two epic Anglo/Canary contests on the horizon (this and this), The Village Cricketer is getting pretty excited about the ICC Twenty20 Cup competition that commences later this week. While still a purist at heart, enjoying nothing more than a day out at a Lords test match, the prospect of a three weeks worth of wall-to-wall cricket on Sky TV mostly scheduled at times that fit around my work committments, is quite compelling.

I enjoy all forms of cricket, just like I enjoy all forms of food, however sometimes you want fine steak and sometimes you want a greasy burger. I spent five days at the SCG once, watching an England win, and that was amongst the most incredible experiences of my life, however I certainly cannot spare five days solely watching a test match right now, so I’m happy that I am being provided with the fast food option, and I’ll happily tuck unto a few quick and easily digestible snacks.

You couldn’t exist solely on fast food though, and you couldn’t exist solely on Twenty20. I’ll enjoy it during June and look forward to the 5* five course feast coming my way over the rest of the summer, although to be fair that will be sampled – mostly in the condensed highlighted variety.

The Village Cricketer is loving the fact that someone in Cricket Australia has decided to adopt The Village People’s Y.M.C.A. as one of the tunes to play during the current Twenty20 series between against the Saffas. Nothing like 60,000 Aussie alpha-males, pissed on schooners of VB, pretending to be construction workers…

Enjoying the cricket, Aussie style

Enjoying the cricket, Aussie style

74-8 currently. Not looking good for England. Hopes currently are with Samit Patel and Stuart Broad.

I didn’t predict a winner before this game, because it was simply too close to call. Nothing to do with skill, experience or ability, it is all on bottle. If England get 100, Stanford’s Superstars will still need some bottle to get them home.

The much anticipated match up between England and the Stanford Superstars is edging ever closer. Kevin Pietersen’s team will be taking part in the ‘winner takes all’ event in Antigua on Saturday night. However, ahead of this contest, Pietersen has some major concerns regarding the lighting at the ground, writes Thomas Rooney, exclusively for The Village Cricketer.

The England captain had his side do some emergency fielding practice during the victory over Middlesex on Sunday night after several players dropped chances that would normally have been routine. After this match, Paul Collingwood suggested that the lights at the ground were to blame as they were ‘different than any other set’ they have played under.

Now, it seems that Pietersen goes along with this theory. Speaking ahead of the match with Trinidad and Tobago, the Hampshire man said that ‘there could be someone under a $20m catch on Saturday’. This is obviously something he is worried about, given the situation with the lights.

The unique and potentially detrimental reason for visibility being poor is that the floodlights are lower than normal at the ground to avoid any danger from a near by airport. This is the reason being suggested anyway.

Pietersen isn’t just concerned about the lighting though. The pitch being used has proved very sluggish and has made runs extremely hard to come by. This meant the use of spin proved effective in the previous game, so this is an option England will consider ahead of Saturday’s match.

This all seems very bizarre to me. All this fuss was made about the money Sir Alan Stanford has and the amount of money that is at stake in this tournament. However, despite all this, they are playing on a ground where they can’t see the ball and on a pitch that won’t allow many runs to be scored. When this first came about, my first thought was that it would be a run filled contest with lots of entertaining cricket. Now I’m not even sure this will be the case.

I guess that’s why I can’t get excited about the prospect of this match – at all. I won’t even be placing a cricket bet on the game. As things stand, it seems that a group of players are going to win a crazy amount of money for dropping catches and posting totals of just over the 100 mark. They would have earned every penny wouldn’t they?

Putting my feeling about the circumstances of which this game is being played aside, I think it is a game that England will win. The cricket odds will certainly be favouring them to do so. They are a settled team and have put together a good run of results recently. Captain Pietersen will make sure they are prepared for the challenge ahead and will drum into his players the fact that there is a game of cricket to be won.

Without doubt though, even if they don’t admit so, the players will have one thing on their mind – money. That’s the reality. It’s also a reality that certain individuals will be responsible for their team-mates losing a great deal of money.

As always, a dropped catch, a run-out, a bad spell of bowling or a poor shot could be the difference between winning and losing. The players will know this and I suppose my main reason for me wanting England to win is that none of the player’s future confidence is effectied by a very, very costly mistake.

Watching England v Middlesex in the Stanford 20/20 tournament. This pitch seems to have some pace, Stephen Finn’s got a couple to go through head high, while the one used for the game between the Stanford Superstars and Trinidad & Tobago was a far slower, lower affair. Apparently that one had more than 40 hours worth of work done on it with the heavy roller, which seems to have squashed all the life out of it. The slow, low one is the pitch that will be used for the big $20million match. Nasser Hussain reckons it’ll be the strong, “whackers” of the ball that will suit it.

Incredible that this could happen at all, even more so in the professional ranks, however reports are circulating that Yorkshire County Cricket Club is facing allegations that they fielded an ineligible player during the group stage of the Twenty20 Cup.

According to Sky Sports, Azeem Rafiq is alleged not to hold a British passport, and as such was not properly registered to play in the game against Nottinghamshire.

The Press Association is another source to read.

Bizarrely, this all came to the fore while a shed load of Geordies were waiting to watch the Durham v Yorkshire Twenty20 Cup quarter final at the Riverside this evening. Proper village.

Another game another disappointing run chase. Desperate cricket, desperate result, another desperate competition. England invented Twenty20 and is being shown how to play it by the rest of the world. Collingwood reckons England were “ten per cent off the mark… one innings and one partnership away from winning the game.” Apparently England can qualify if NZ beat the Saffas, England beat India and India beat the Saffas too… then it is on run rate.

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